The Decibels of Love

the volumes of love

I (now) believe:

Love is measured on a scale of magnitude, and that it is possible to love more than one person at the same time. Because every relationship – every encounter – is different.

I believe you can love two people just as much, maybe even three, without your emotions for one devaluing your feelings for another, or making those seem any less real. Because what you experience with one person, the wealth and accumulation of all those little moments, may be a completely different experience from what you have with somebody else.

I believe people fulfil you in different ways, open up different parts of you, make you aware of yourself – or all the different versions of your “self”. And sometimes it takes more than one person for you to realise that.

I believe, so long as you love and you feel with the same amount of intensity and sincerity, it is completely possible to love many people at the same time. Love is love is love. Either it is there or it is not. And I’ve found that once you feel love for somebody, it is very hard to just switch that off. Why? Because your love for them was inspired for a reason (or a few!).

You can love people in many different ways, and show them with just as much variety of expression. I do not think it’s so much a question of whether it’s possible, but more a matter of how much intensity’s involved and how saturated you colour that feeling. And even then, pastel pink and crimson red are both lovely colours – they just have different effects. But that doesn’t make one any less real than the other. All that matters is that you are sincere, and when you choose to love someone, you love them as much as you are able, in the best way that you know how. That is your personal, one-on-one connection with each other. No one can tell you what that should feel like.

And I’m not talking here about the “romantic love” or “friendly love” or “puppy love” or “sexual love”. Those are just titles. To me, there is only one kind of love: Love. It’s just inspired in different ways, by different people, at different times. The question is, can you handle that? And if not, first ask yourself why.

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